Dear Hi-Viz and Helmet Woman,
When a car is all up in your arse as you ride along the road, do you know that they are doing this on purpose to unnerve you and make you get out of the way? Do you know that just because they speed up and hug your back wheel in between speed bumps, that this does not mean they will actually run you over? Do you realise that you stopping and (hilariously) shouting, “What are you doing? You are such bad driver!” is just what they wanted, a) for the jokes and, b) because it enabled them to pass you?
Oh Hi-Viz and Helmet Woman, how many times must I tell you? Cars are not contagious! Please stop being so afraid of them and allowing them to wrestle the road back off you. When a car is all up in your arse - carry on! Do just what you were doing. If they beep you - give them the finger! It is highly unlikely that they will try to run you over,* so let them rev their engines and hug your rubber all they like, they are just being impatient is all.
Yours sincerely,
Tank Green
(*: And if they are the kind of homicidal maniac to try to run you over, they’d do it anyway.)
Posted under advice
Posted on Monday, 20 October 2008 at 9:13 pm
hey Tank!
how are things? glad to hear you are still the same, philly biking is petty funny huh? The funny thing is now I have a 6 yr old to carry on my tradition, except he is a much more daring biker than me, when we go down town and I tell them I used to ride down here they are half in awe and half skeptical, I hope all is well!!! I’m glad to see you are still hilarious
oh in case you are like “who the crap is this???” It’s me Maureen!!!!!!!! from philadelphia, your old rommie on Madison square whoooohoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol, how could i forget you? we formed my first and only gang: the kickstand killers. we also formed my first national holiday: national kick a crusty day. hahahaa.
i am glad you still find me funny.
of course kick a crusty!!!!!!!!!! what a wonderful thing!!! People always laugh at my distain for hippies, (ugh hippies. blah. yuck. stinky birkenstocks, step on a crusty toenail heee heee) Kickstand killers how funny, I am laughing now, that was a very serious and dangerous gang, as we were very dangerous and threatening to mainstream society. Yes Tank I think you are hilarious, I’m glad to see your spirit is still the same:)